Tag Archives: Love Each Other

On Love as Both Affection and Action

Thirty-some years ago, the Christian band D.C. Talk released a song entitled “Luv is a verb”; it was a song that resonated with the biblical truth that love is more than simply a feeling. Genuine love, true biblical love is demonstrated through acts of giving and service, putting the needs of others before our own, and seeking their good as a matter of first priority. As we read in Romans 5.8, “But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Or again, in 1 John 4.10, “Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.” Or even in the most memorable of verses, in John 3.16, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” The love of God toward sinners is the exemplar par excellence of true love. He loves, and so he gave. He acted for the good of those he loved, even when they didn’t love him. It is a love that is unconditional and undeserved, and it is a love that acts. Love, true biblical love, is indeed a actoin. It is a verb.

Of course, this understanding of love stands in stark contradiction to the sentiments of popular culture. For many, love is a feeling. It is something that is primarily felt in the warm fuzzies of attraction and desire. It is sensual, passionate, and oftentimes fleeting. People fall out of love just as easily and as quickly as the fall into love. The feelings of love ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean, and the more the feelings of love wane in a relationship, the more desperately we chase them. “Follow you’re heart”, we are told, but the scriptures remind us that our hearts are deceitful and wicked (Jeremiah 17.9). Christians rightly react to the idea that love is no more than an emotion. Love is commitment, love is service, love is a choice. Love is something we are called to give even if it is not returned in kind. We are called to love each other, even to love our enemies.

However, I think that this contrast sets up a false dichotomy. It is true that love is more than a mere emotion, but it is certainly not less than that. Emotions are good; they are God-given capacities, part of what it means to be made in the image of God. Even God has emotions, though His are perfect and completely without sin or selfishness. He is compassionate, merciful, gracious, and loving. “God is love” (1 John 4.8). Our emotions are a good and essential part of what makes us human, but as with our other capacities, they are fallen, corrupted by the sin. But they should not be rejected as if they are sinful in and of themselves, or somehow illegitimate partners in our sanctification. Just like our other human capacities, they need to be redeemed, reordered, transformed by the Spirit. This is why one of the fruit of the Spirit is, among others, love.

Therefore, I would submit that true biblical love is both action and affection; it is both something that we do and something that we feel. Of course, the question must be raised regarding what to do when we just aren’t feeling. Are we still required to love when the affections aren’t there. I would suggest yes, because, contrary to cultural sentiments, our emotions are not to be our guiding principle. We submit our emotions to the Word of God, to the work of the Spirit, such that they begin to follow our volition. So, yes, we are called to love others through acts of self-giving service and sacrifice, but we are also called to like others, as well. This, too, is part of the biblical command to love.

But how would this relate to a command like we find in Matthew 5.44, where we read, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” In this case, I think we have to be reminded that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.” (Ephesians 6.12). Our “enemies” are human beings made in the image of God who are enslaved and corrupted by sin, and but by the grace of God, there go we. So, we can have compassion and empathy for those who oppose us. We don’t have to agree with them or condone their actions; we don’t have to lower our defenses and pretend like no separation exists between us. But we cannot hate them outright; we cannot wish for their pain and destruction all the while trying to love them through acts of service and sacrifice. We must have some level of compassion and empathy, even for those who we consider “enemies”, because they too are made in the image of God. They have dignity, value, and worth, and we must loving actions toward them must be grounded in compassion rather than anger and animosity.

The point here is that feelings follow actions. If we set ourselves to love others through acts of service, I think we will be amazed at the affections that will well up for them in our hearts. No, biblical love is not some dry, emotionless, unfeeling command that we are called to obey. We are called to obey, but to do so holistically, with our whole selves. As Jesus reminds us, the greatest commandments are these, to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” and to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22.37-40) When we do this, we will find ourselves become more and more like the one who is love in himself. So, “Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4.7-8)

For further study, see:
On Love as the Heart of Christmas


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